


You're gonna go far kid

by Wildfey



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Backstory, Gen, death mention, mildly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 03:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16884399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildfey/pseuds/Wildfey
Summary: Beau is going to get in trouble if this goes on...Written around C2E26/27.





	You're gonna go far kid

**Author's Note:**

> The title is of course from [ You're gonna go far kid ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql9-82oV2JE) by the Offspring, a key component of my Beau playlist (do i really have an skate-punk beau playlist that i listen to when i need to get work done? of course i do).
> 
> As a note, this fic does contain mild references to alcohol, sex, violence and death. Nothing explicit but like... there's your warning.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr and Pillowfort, still under Wildfey.

Beauregard is a twinkle in his father’s eye.

No, _Beau_ is the disappointment in her father’s frown.

Beauregard was meant to be someone else. Beau is inconvenient.

Beau grows up in a life that fits poorly, in shoes that pinch and dresses that tear too easily, under the uneasy gaze of people who never planned for her. Beau needs to calm down.

Beau could do with learning something other than how to climb out of the window and chase birds up and down the roof, scratching her knees up all the way.

Beau is going to get in trouble if this goes on.

_Beau, can you listen to your father when he’s talking to you?_

_Where do you think you’re going, Beauregard?_

Beau is fourteen, furious, punches her tutor when he tries to correct her pronunciation of Y'gathok. Goes home and punches a wall. There is blood on her knuckles. Good.

Beau never stops punching after that.

Beau is bored, sitting counting out pennies and rolling her eyes at the customers. When her father looks at her the edges of his mouth pull tight, like she’s another sour bottle of wine, something distasteful he can’t sell. Her mother pities her, so ill fitting and jagged and pulled taut around the edges. One night they try talking to Beau, her father stoic and heavy in the brow, her mother sobbing and trying to hold on to her. Beau tells them both to fuck off and pretends she doesn’t care what her family thinks about her.

Beau is lying.

Beau gets drunk and goes out and takes drugs and has lots of awkward, ill-advised sex. It makes her feel better, the thrill, but only for mere hours at a time. Now, Beau is chasing adrenaline. She’s meeting women with smoky smiles in taverns and sharing wine drenched kisses with them. More than kisses, if she’s lucky. It’s still not enough.

Beau wishes that her parents would even fucking look at her, it’s like she doesn’t even exist, she’s tearing herself apart like she wants them to be impressed with how strong she’s becoming, but at the same time she’s furious and she wants to make their lives hell, make everyone’s life hell, because if she doesn’t fit the system than fuck the system, fuck everything, she’ll take it all down if she has to.

Beau is fine.

When Beau sells stolen wine, she glares at her customers like she hates them (she does), but they give her a way to screw over her father, so she keeps on meeting them. They give her money and she spends it on cheap spirits that burn as she drinks them. Beau finds it hard to get drunk on wine these days.

Beau is 21 and the trap closes around her.

The monks say that she should learn discipline and martial prowess. Beau manages one of those. She was always good at punching (Maybe it was all she was ever good at).

Beau is 23, on the road and Jester refuses to let her be an angry, sour loner and brush them off. She makes the mistake of showing how desperate she is for someone who actually gives a shit about her. She can’t bring herself to regret it, even though she knows she should.

Beau is a 5’3 bantam menace with a temper like thunder and fists like lightning, and for the first time in her life she has friends.

Beau fights like it’s a joke. It is to her.

Beau fights like she needs to. She does.

Beau fights like she’s desperate. (Why else would anyone risk their life like this?)

Sometimes Beau feels like she’s found a place she fits. She can’t be sure. Beau wouldn’t even know what acceptance looks like.

Beau fights because she can’t lose her friends (Her family).

She loses them anyway.

Now Beau is chasing vengeance. Chasing knowledge. She has to know how the world works. Beau is going to find the leverage to tear the system down piece by wicked piece and rip it out at the roots, so it can’t grow back again. Beau is not going to fail again. She can’t fail again.

Beau is inconvenient. That’s how she likes it.


End file.
